Thursday, March 24, 2011

Faith each day

You call it God, give it a name, follow a religion, or believe that he doesn't exist. I don't know, who he is or if he exists. Neither do I wish to ever debate that or try to prove it. Nor do I believe that everything is predestined and, something will happen only if its written in our destiny.

For me, my ultimate truth, my god, is my faith in a power that is superior than all of us. And that faith keeps me going every single day. My faith helps me make choices, and gives me power to shape my life how I wish. It stands with me when something goes wrong and gives energy to let go and move on.

When I look at him, he smiles at me and I feel a rare sense of peace. I confide in him, share my thoughts and confusions with him. When I am depressed, I cry to him. In difficult times, saying “ Shri Krishna Sharnam Mamah” (meaning I am devoting myself to your blessed feet) gives me strength. He  motivates me to be a better person each day. He teaches me to be self less and happy each day.

My morning starts with waking him, dressing/accessorizing, offering food & milk, lighting candle and incense. Followed by a silent prayer of “Thanks”. These 10 min take me far away from everything that's happening around me and undoubtedly, that is the best time of my day. A true bliss each day.



Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Facing my fear of water

If you ask my husband, he will list atleast 50 things that I am scared of, at any instant. Certainly not something to be proud of!

I have always loved being in water, but the thought of suffocation has always prevented me from learning how to swim. Have avoided water sports and tried to stay away from vacation places where they were the highlight. The thought of the boat flipping and I being suffocated, have always overcome my urge for being in water. Every year, I would tell myself to register for a swim class, but never actually took the step.

One day I had a sudden realization that my fear of water might always be there, but am I going to let it come in the way of enjoying something that most of the world enjoys? Probably not. Once I had this realization that I am going to move ahead, in spite of my fear, it was then about taking that first step.

I registered for the class.

First day of class: I drove to the Bellevue Aquatic center, on a Sat, at 9am (half in sleep),  signed in,  changed and got into the pool. Instructor came, introductions happened and then, it was time!

I found telling myself  “its okay if I don’t learn much today, because I am scared and also because I am an adult. I would have picked it up if I had learnt it as a kid.”  Somewhere I knew that I was probably using that as a reason for not giving in my best.

Then I looked on the other side of the pool where kids class was going on. 2 to 4 yr old children were learning how to swim, enjoying themselves in water, diving without any fear, splashing water on each other, practicing hand strokes etc.. There was so much excitement around that part of the pool.

I thought “What must be on their minds right now? what are they thinking?” They probably have no idea about the dangers of drowning, no fear of water, or pre conceived notions about how it would feel when thrown in water. Their minds must be completely blank and empty. Simply observing, completely in the present, trying to have fun and learn everything taught to them without questioning it.

And that's it. I decided that that was going to be my attitude too. "Clear my mind, not focus on fear, remove all inhibitions, start from absolute zero and create a possibility of learning something I have never learnt before."

I successfully completed one hour of class. While walking towards my car, the feeling I got was unmatched. Free, confident and happy!

I am by no means an expert swimmer yet, but I am confident I will get there! :-)



Am a strong believer of “ Courage is not lack of fear, but rather it is taking action in the face of, and despite, fear - Feel the fear and do it anyway!”

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

1 - 50: Everything and anything about me that I laugh about, enjoy and which makes my each day Awesome!

50. Talking on mute in a meeting...

49. Having hot sauce and/or Ketchup with almost every non Indian meal

48. After getting what I ordered at a restaurant, getting very tempted to order what the person on the next table is eating instead

47. Finally spotting my car in the parking lot after having forgotten where I had parked

46. Sitting for 2 min in front of a fan at the gym doing 'nothing' after a good workout or a hot yoga class

45. If I am really liking a book, reading it slowly because I don't want it to finish soon.

44. Bargaining.. not to save money, just for fun..

43. Extra hour of sunlight after daylight savings...

42. Hot cup of tea in the morning...

41. Predicting which lane will move faster at the airport security screening. Then joining that line and noticing who joined the other line at the same time. Then competing with them to ensure I complete my screening faster than them

40. Winning in the game of UNO against Jatin...

39. Laughing on Jatin's jokes especially when I don't find them funny... (Sorry Jatin :-))

38. Passing through the mail box, knowing I need to pick up the mail because its full...and not picking it up anyway

37. Running to the restroom when the plane is about to take off or land (And the seat belt sign is on)

36. Taking 30 minute afternoon naps

35. Dialing in the meeting just when the clock ticks on the exact time. (10am for eg)

34. Grocery shopping at mid night...

33. Watching Mahabharat on Sunday mornings...

32. Thinking when will I sleep again just when i wake up

31. Not waking up before 1pm on weekends...

30. Food on flights to India...

29. Watching little bit of every movie on flights

28. When someone lands at my destination and gives rent in 'monopoly'

27. Looking at 2-3 recipes of the same dish and taking a little bit of all to make my own

26. Calling my sister multiple times especially when she is with her friends to irritate her

25. Watering my plant, noticing it and trying to find changes since the last time I watered

24. Deleting and organizing work emails in folders only after getting a mail jail warning

23. Watching every new hindi movie..

22. Pleasure when my roti is an exact circle...

21. Preaching and giving my advice to my sister ,when i know she will not listen..

20. Asking Jatin to fnd my cell phone...

19. Getting one new item every time I go grocery shopping

18. Fighting and arguing with my sister for no reason

17. Harassing Jatin on flights and being a pain in his ass...

16. Deciding what will be cooked but still asking Jatin "what do you want to eat"

15. Taking a longer route to reach somewhere so that I can listen to my favorite song

14. Cursing for no reason

13. Talking to Brinda for hours on everything from servants, to school crushes, to husbands, to recipes...

12. Paranoid about being stranded if my gas tank goes below 1/4th of its capacity

11. Talking to mom dad n slype and watching my house in India almost every evening

10. Moving furniture just for change

9.  Getting overwhelmed at an Indian buffet in a restaurant and taking everything on my plate

8.  Looking forward to home cooked dal rice after a trip

7.  Thinking about what Ill have for dinner in the morning

6.  Talking with DD about everyone and everything from our DJ days..

5.  When someone comments on my photo on Facebook..

4.  Printing an old picture and framing it

3.  Calling Jatin and asking "When will you come home?" with a puppy face and voice

2.  Taking a bite from everything on Jatin's plate

1.  Opening 7-8 tabs on a browser and not reading anything